Posts tagged: Vocation
Tonight, after work, I am driving down to San Diego. I get off work at 5 p.m. and I will begin my retreat of solitude to process my calling and vocation. I am really excited.
I will be staying at a hotel in one of my favorite cities in the world, within walking distance of the bay and beach to encounter God. I am expectant this will happen. I have been taking all week to intentionally prepare for this weekend. I have been longing to be able to get away and process all God has been doing. Let me tell you, He has been doing a lot.
It is going to be a good weekend. I ask you, my tumblr followers to do me one thing - when you get a chance over the next 24 plus hours - please, please pray for me. Pray for God to speak. Pray for God to move. Pray for me to listen. Pray for me to encounter God in fresh ways.
Can you do that for me?
I am expectant.
Can you please pray for me?
For the past fifteen months I have been attending and studying at Talbot School of Theology - seminary - at Biola University. It has been a time filled with the ups and downs of life. The educational process itself has been one full of the good, bad and ugly. It has been a love-hate relationship. Sometimes more hate then love.
One of the biggest reasons for this dilemna has been the Spiritual Formation track they make every Talbot student take. It is a series of classes that must be taken in succession your first three semesters. It also includes Spiritual Direction two semesters (my second favorite part of the track). The first two semesters, the classes were dry, long and not worth my time. The second semester had it’s moments, but in the overarching perspective it even fell flat.
However, semester number three has been increasingly different. Our subject matter is calling and vocation - two subjects resonating with my heart and soul right now. Plus, it is material I find deeply important - stuff that even though it is not new to me, is so great to hear more thoughts on and different perspectives. It has been exciting. It has been a powerful reminder of who God has created me to be.
In the same way, I get to pursue this idea even further this weekend. This class has me going on a twenty-four hour retreat of solitude to pray through vocation and calling.
I am excited to do this.
It could not come at a better time.
As I sit inside RHF today, I have watched RockHarbor's 2+1 vision update video twice. Both times I have seen it, it has acted as a conduit, it has woke a hibernating bear, it has shaken the bird cage of my soul. My desire & calling is getting tougher to carefully speak about.
See, my life has been a process and a journey I could never have mapped out when God began to orient my heart, soul, calling, passion and gifting with full time ministry back in high school. I didn’t want to do it. Like a typical overachieving high schooler, I had my life planned out in the way I knew was best for God to use me - sports journalist & broadcaster. He called. Like Jonah I tried to run. Like Moses I told God to send someone else; someone more qualified. Like Peter I tried to make my view of how to use myself in the kingdom as the real way it should be. God faithfully reoriented me in the same way Jonah, Moses and Peter were pursued by God.
He wouldn’t let me miss it.
He sent me on a path that involved Romania, Orange Coast College, Campus Crusade for Christ, the San Diego Summer Project, a staph infection of the blood, getting kicked out of a church, RockHarbor, California State University - Fullerton, Religious Studies, RockHarbor Fullerton & Talbot. In the middle of this journey, at CSUF, back in February 2009, after breaking up with my first girlfriend, God spoke to me audibly & visibly. It was one of several times I have heard God’s voice. It is unmistakable when you hear it. (Note: this is not the normal. This is the exception. Many times God’s voice is not audible. This is descriptive not prescriptive.)
In this moment, outside the TSU at CSUF, I had just gotten off work on a Friday & decided to sit, watch pray & spend time with Jesus before going home. He spoke. He had been guiding me - tenderly - this direction for a while.
It is something I have held on tight to. I have been afraid to talk about it. I have been afraid what people would think. I haven’t wanted to flaunt it.
That day, was the moment I can point to when God spoke to me & said: “Fullerton for your 20’s. Dream of planting a church.”
Today, my hearts desire has been pushed to the surface by these videos. The details are still coming, but this is how my God is stirring.
It scares me.
It excites me.
It is not about me.