Learning to Carry the Name Well :: Maybe You Can Go Home Again?
Four years ago, I decided to put into practice Matthew 10:14:
And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town.
I admit this verse is taken a bit out of context, but at the time and specific moment, it fit my situation. I was getting persecuted. I was getting attacked. I was not welcome and this action was the symbolic ceremony I needed to do.
On my final Sunday at my old church, I took off my sandals and beat off the dust.
It felt good.
It was cleansing.
Four years later, I’m learning about what it means to carry the Name of Jesus well. Carrying the Name well, was first engrained into me by my pastor, friend, brother and mentor. My church was walking through Luke and the Lord’s Prayer. We were begging our community to be people who carry the Name well.
I want to carry the Name well.
In order to, I needed to forgive. For about a year now, my mentor, friend, brother and pastor and I have been talking about visiting my old church. Because the Kingdom is so much bigger then my wounds. Because, to carry the Name well, forgiveness must be embodied.
My healing, redemption and restoration is not over. The wounds run deep. God has brought healing and will bring more healing.
I wonder what this hour and a half will be like? What will God stir up? How will God move? How will God show up? What will happen?
I go into this service, visiting my old church, the one where I met Jesus and was kicked out for being a college student, with an attitude and spirit of expectancy. The thing is, I have no idea what to expect. I am okay with this. I will be faithful. I will have two men surrounding me who love me and want my best for the sake of the Kingdom.
I have nothing to fear.
Jesus conquered sin, death and Satan - one church and few men are nothing for my God, His Son and the Holy Spirit in my life.
Right now, I get to see if maybe you can go home again.
Here is an excerpt, from a letter, I wrote, four years ago, to the most amazing couple I have ever met. They willingly, joyfully, painfully, sat with me through this struggle and trial. They loved me and encouraged me as the only church I had ever known, attacked me and ran me out of my home.
"Doug and Shelley I really do love you two. I know that without God using you two in my life I would not be where I am today. I know God used you mightily in my life and my spiritual journey and for that I am eternally grateful and thankful. But it is funny how much the feeling that I am an adult is sinking in right now. As I leave where I grew up spiritually, I know I am an adult. I know God will continue to grow me and use me because of the foundation I have in Him. I thank you for that…
I know this is tough on you, as it is tough on me. Leaving people I love so much – especially the way it ended. But I know that God always opens a new door. I know that God has other things in store for my life right now…”
God opened a new door indeed.
For a long, long while, I wanted to do life, community and following Jesus as just “me and Jesus” and leave the church behind. No one could blame me after what happened - but it just didn’t feel right.
He did open doors.
I walked through.
I landed at RockHarbor Church.
I got led to RockHarbor Fullerton.
RockHarbor Fullerton is my home.
So, maybe it is true that one cannot go home again - but, that’s usually because you find a place that captivates your heart in ways your “home” could never even dream of…
Below, you will find words I penned, four years ago, as I was sitting in my final service at the church where I was born and raised. It is part of my story. I will never be able to get rid of it. It taught me things I never expected to learn.
However, this story, this adventure does not define me.
When I wake up, I get to prove this.
I never thought I’d come back.
Healing, redemption and restoration come in unexpected places. More amazing, is how prophetic this poem was from my fresh twenty year old self. I would never trade the adventure God has placed me on for anything in the world (saying this, does not justify what took place).
I am a better man; I am a better brother; I am a better son; I am a better friend; I am a better leader; I am better servant; I am a better follower of Jesus; I am a better disciple - because of this…
Doug and Shelley Roller, this one’s for you, two of the greatest people I will ever know…
"I was sitting in church on Sunday, unfocused as my mind was wandering and remembering the great many things that have happened in the place where I have grown up and I wrote this:"
I sit here realizing it is time My time to leave. I look and remember how it came How it ended so uniquely as I sit
I sit as my hope and prayer rise That my years of goodness That my years of joy That those will outweigh the bad as I sit
I sit and I fear, it has been too late To remember the times of love To remember the times of joy To remember the times of charity To remember the times of learning as I fear and I sit
I sit fearing All I might remember All I might dwell on are The feeling of agony The feeling of despair That my mind was in as fearing I sit
I sit and I fear the case of my soul I leave and begin a new adventure In my fears, in my agony, in my despair I cling to God, because He won’t let me forget The love of this place, by taking me back To a man and a woman who won’t let me forget What this place has been in my life, when I sit and I fear
Now I sit, now I look forward preparing for God’s reward I thank God for these two souls For what they mean to me I look forward, and back, and now I thank God for placing these two souls in my life I see what they mean to me I know what they mean to others as I sit and I wait
I sit and know one thing These two souls Will only continue influencing those like me By their love and compassion Because of whom they are Because of what God made them I sit and I remember them I sit and I remember the years of good.
I haven’t arrived in life. I’m still on a journey of restoration and redemption. The cross covers all the wrongs I have ever or will ever commit and all the heart issues I have had to work through, need to work through or will have to work through. That is the beauty of what Jesus did when He died on the cross.
He uttered the words “It is finished”.
Jesus doesn’t lie.
Jesus doesn’t pull a fast one on you like your favorite uncle used to do when he’d tease you with the notion that he had your nose. That isn’t the style of Jesus. He’s not out to con or trick us.
Those three words are at the heart of the Gospel.
I don’t have to do it. I can’t do it. Only Jesus can. Oh, and He already did it.
In all of the Bible, in all of the words that we have recorded from Jesus, these three might be my favorite. There implications are vast. The past couple of days these words have been my comfort.
My heart and my head are separated by a mere 18 inches on my body, but right now my heart and my brain are separated by mere miles. My head, intellectually, knows what it needs to do. That I need to be full of love and forgiveness, compassion and mercy – but, it is so much easier to give into the heart which simply wants to get even, an eye for an eye, or even revenge.
I hate where my heart is at.
So, I get mad and beat myself up over the fact my heart doesn’t want to do what I know I need to do is. It distracts me. Pulls me off mission. I bottle it up. I take it personal. Thus doing more damage then the initial wound that caused the pain and brokenness that put in this place in the first place.
It is here, in this moment, right now, that I get to remember that “It is finished”. What I don’t need is love, forgiveness, compassion or mercy – but simply Jesus. Because not only has He already made me right in His eyes but He is love, forgiveness, compassion and mercy incarnate.
I sit and remember. “It is finished”. Jesus, I can’t do it. You need to do it.
Just do it – please…
What situations in your life do you need to remember that “It is finished”?
I was going to write this for a brother and leave it for him only - instead I decided to open it up, not use names and make it broader…
Life will get better.
God moves in unique ways all the time. We just don’t always see it. Things are constantly in flux. At times, God is trying to get you to a place you’ve never been before. I know this isn’t always an easy thing.
I know you know this.
I know you’ve seen my life. My life is a testimony to this. I hope you are able to look into my life even more in the next season. I long to be able to walk with you as God continues to do stir the great things in you that I and other great men see.
Yes, at times, life is not what we expect. From experience though, this is where God does his best work. I don’t like quoting myself, but “God makes beautiful works of art out of scarred up, wasted ashes.” My friend, my brother, this is all so true. I am praying, for God to make Himself evident in your life and begin to reveal to you more and more of His grand plan for your life. I can’t wait to see how God is going to use this season in your life to make you into the man He is calling you to be.
A man I highly respect and I long one day to meet and pick his brain about Jesus, life and ministry, Darrin Patrick, says: "God has to do some great things in you before He will do something great through you." My brother from another mother, this stage is where God has you. I beg you to not shortchange it. I ask you to wrestle with it. I implore you to embrace it.
I speak not as a man who has fully left this season, but who is about to. I speak as a man who is barely ahead of you. I speak and pray as a man who can look back at every season God has sent me on and know fully how much God has used it to make me more like Him. I still don’t know fully what this past season was about, but I know, as distance comes, God will have used it to shape me in profound ways.
My friend, my brother, our God is so much bigger then temporary dissatisfaction. In life, I can only guarantee you two things, God is moving and God is here.
These next several postings were written a year ago, after this situation happened. They are probably, three of my favorite, written things ever. If you have questions, ask away.
Intellectually it is easy to remember Jesus has done it all and I cannot do it. Though, the heart usually takes some time to catch up – even when I remember “It is finished”.
That’s where I get drawn back to why and how Jesus was able to say “It is finished”.
(Think about that phrase and all it means for a second before you read the next part…)
See, Jesus is everything we are not: without fault, loving, humble, compassionate, merciful, wise, etc. Yet, He is still fully God and man (a mystery I don’t know if I ever want to fully understand). Which means He has the ability and capacity to make up for every way in which we have missed the boat – because He didn’t miss the boat. Ever.
Not only does this simply mean we have a ticket to heaven now or even get our sins cleansed in His eyes – it means in this present life, we get help.
Jesus understands where we are and what we are going through because He has experienced it too.
(Don’t just move past that, interact with that, engage with that, what does that mean?)
“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16
Simply, for our purposes, this means, Jesus understands. As my head and my heart battle it out for dominance – I draw near to Jesus and remember He understands.
In this instance, I know Jesus understands the ultimate form of betrayal. Judas sold Him for a mere thirty pieces of silver and Judas was in the select club of twelve, traveling with Jesus for three years. That is betrayal.
Jesus knows denial. One of His trusted compatriots denied Him three times in the most crucial time of need. Before the rooster crowed three times, Peter had denied Jesus. Broken the bond of trust that should have been established.
Jesus knows my pain.
He knows what betrayal and broken trust feels like.
A lot can happen in a year. The last year of my life proves that. Today is the marker of the end of a year I never expected, a year I never wanted. But they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and I think I finally understand that. God has definitely made me stronger in the last year.
Yes, technically, intellectually, this is what makes up a year. But, for most, a year is made up of far more then time. There are happy times; some joyful times; some amazing, great times; some sad times; some hard times; some times you wish you can forget or change.
As I’m typing this, God is putting a passage onto the forefront of my mind:
For everything there is a season, and a time for every mater under heaven; a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for a war, and a time for peace.
As I meditate on the situation, “life happened” may just be the best way to sum it up. The past 365 days have been hard. This one situation has been a constant issue. It has taught me and stretched me in ways I couldn’t imagine. It has made me wrestle. It has made me forgive. It has made me repent. It has left me questioning.
Unexpected is the theme.
For a year, I’ve been holding onto it. Keeping it tight to my chest - only telling those who deserve to know; those who can help; those who I trust. Because, deep down, I still deeply love this person. Liking and loving can be extremely at odds with each other sometimes.
I want his best.
I want their best.
A full, Welch nephew is coming.
His story should have been a story to tell and celebrate.
Instead, they chose a different story. They chose secrecy over celebration. Seclusion over community. Distrust over invitation. In the process, they left many wounds and casualties along the way.
One year later, I still miss him - kind of. I miss the ideal person I thought he could or should be. I wanted an older brother - I didn’t want to be the older brother. One I could go to, do life with, seek advice and know we had each other’s back.
Now, I know, my truest bonds are not with men who share my blood or surname. Rather, they are men who share passions, ministry, life and community with me. We walk through hard times. We laugh through crazy times. We rejoice in great times. We pray always. We always grow deeper because life is meant for sanctification.
I remember a year ago. I will never forget. But, I do forgive. I still do love him.
“On a very practical level, a husband who plots how to make his wife laugh every now and then is serving God. A wife who plans an unforgettable sexual experience for her husband is serving God. A husband who makes sacrifices so his wife can get the recreational time she needs is loving God.”—
I love my church. If you have been reading my blog for any amount of time I hope you know how truly in love with my local expression of the global church I am. God has placed me here; God has called me here; God wants me here; I need to be here; I desire to be here.
RockHarbor Fullerton is my home church.
Every year, our mothership (whom we are a part of as a campus), RockHarbor, runs Vacation Bible School. Three years ago, they realized the people showing up to our giant production in Costa Mesa were either fellow RockHarbor kids or other church kids. This, unfortunately, did not fit with the vision and calling of "GO" God gave our church. So, the families team rethought things.
Instead of one VBS, in Costa Mesa, with a bunch of church kids, where families form all around Orange County drive to - we decided to take VBS to our communities. We called our people to host sites anywhere they lived, with children, at parks, or schools, or community centers, or houses. Our goal was to have more unchurched children then churched children.
In 2009, it worked. We had 30 sites throughout Orange County. More kids showed up then ever before - especially those who had never heard of Jesus. So, we spent the week telling them about "The Big God Story". That summer, our church took a risk - now we’ve been doing it for three years running.
I love being a part of it.
This summer, after leading a site in Fullerton in 2009, touring sites and getting stories in 2010, I have had the opportunity to work at a home in Fullerton - the Penton home(coincidentally, I went to their house to grab stories last year…).
The Penton’s are a great family. They are faithful family members of RHF, even though we don’t have many families. They love the city of Fullerton, their community and what God is doing inside our church so much they are a founding family of the families of RHF. It is a sacrifice I don’t know if many of RHF will ever realize (as we are full of twentysomethings and do not always interact with our families). Yet, the Penton’s are here, faithfully, opening up their house, inviting in their community and expecting God to do big things.
They have four children. One toddler, one infant. Yet, Laura Penton, has been right in their with us all week. As we sit, watch and talk about how the week is going - she is beaming with joy, excited at how God is stirring inside their community. It is evident by hearing her talk how much she longs to see their neighbors encounter Jesus.
She longs to see their community, their city transformed.
Her husband Dave, has been working this week - but he was there with us on Monday - cheering us on and giving us his time. On Friday, we will be throwing a celebration barbeque at their house, hoping all the kids and their families come - so we can love on them, show them Jesus, and step into how God is using the Penton’s inside the city of Fullerton.
It is an honor. Dave and Laura Penton, I am so excited to be a part of how God is moving inside your community. I am so excited to see how God is uniquely blessing you and enabling you to have a presence in voice inside your community for the sake of the Kingdom. Thank you for being faithful and opening your home two summers in a row.
Thank you. God is moving. Thank you for letting us step into how God is uniquely moving in your community this week.
I have two questions for you today.
First, what is your name? I have been following you all this time and am just realizing that I do not know it.
And second, what is missiology? I noticed that some of your posts are tagged that, but I hadn't heard that word before so I looked it up. The dictionary said that it was "the theological study of the mission of the church, especially the character and purpose of missionary work." Sorry if this is a dumb question, but what exactly does that mean, what does someone (a missiologist?) do?
So I guess that's more than two actually. Anyhow, I will be praying for your job interview today. Blessings!!
Hey Rachel, my name is Jonathon. Nice to Tumblr meet you! Thanks for the follow - I apprecaite it. Thanks for the question. Love it.
Missiology is exactly what your research told you it was. To put it simply, missiology is all about equipping the church to share the Gospel more effectively and passionately. The point of it is to give you “missionary eyes” and see where you live, your community, your city, in the same way a missionary in Africa sees the community they sell everything to and move to. I hope that helps.
July 17, 2006 :: Flipping the Page - The Ending of the Almost End
For 13 days I writhed and wrestled in a hospital bed.
My time lying, dying, sleeping, healing, praying, waiting was not reminiscent of Job - but more in comparison to Jacob’s encounter with God, where he wrestles God, is left with a limp, his life is changed and so is his name as a result of it (Genesis 32:22-32). For 13 days, I was confronted with realities I never thought I would face. I thought being a Christian and being in the center of God’s will was the safest place to be (misrepresentations I was told over the years). God was here to bless me and make my life better (truths, yes, but not in the ways people usually think about it…). God, in a way, was a cosmic vending machine - all I had to do was put in the right amount of change and what I wanted would squirm out.
God called me to San Diego, to go on a Summer Project, with Campus Crusade for Christ. He called - I obeyed.
He also wanted me to get a staph infection of the blood. He wanted me to be in the hospital for 13 days. He wanted me on my death bed. He wanted me to be in recovery for 18 months (yes, you read that right). He wanted to heal me. He wanted it to not be instaneous.
On July 17, 2006, my fever was down for 48 hours (I think they stretched it a bit, as my restlessness was becoming rapid and they knew I needed out). I was discharged. This discharge did not mean I was out of Forbidden Forest, rather, I was just now entering it. If I would have had this disease several years earlier I would have been transferred to hospice and monitored for the next six weeks or so as they made sure the staph infection was gone and gave me my antibiotics. Thankfully, they found patients heal better at home.
My mother became my nurse. They gave us our own IV machine. They delivered the antibiotic to our house, that was over $1,000 a bag. I needed one of those a day for the next six weeks. I had weekly doctor visits.
I was healed. I was saved. But a new chapter began.
They warned, the staph infection, could come back inside the next six months. See, in order to fight the disease, they had to get rid of all my white blood cells too. I was weaker then I’d ever been before in my life. A common cold could lead to it’s return. If it returned the chances of me surviving it was under 5%. If I felt anything close to any of the symptoms of the staph infection, I was to come in immediately.
I had no idea what recovery would look like. Or how long. No one did. See, “When people get what you get, as bad as you get it, they die. Thus, we have no idea what your recovery is going to look like, or how long it will be…”
I was healed but my adventure had only just begun…
(The next posts will detail this part of my journey, what God did, why He did it and anything else important…)
If you know me or read my blog, chances are at some point in time you will have heard me mention my experience with Campus Crusade for Christ. It is a ministry filled wiht people who helped heal, change, grow, stretch and teach me while giving me an opportunity at launching a movement, leading a movement and teaching. It is a ministry filled with many men of God I highly respect.
It is also a ministry I have had run ins and complaints with (truly, most ministries are this way - you will never fully agree with a group and if you do, you haven’t been there long enough - because no one or ministry is perfect - only Jesus is) - yet, I still believe they can be used for great good on college campuses. CRU, is dear to my heart. CRU, if used effectively, can help change the campuses of the world and thus, the world itself.
Yet, one of the major complaints I had with this great ministry, is their name.
Campus - great. Love it.
Crusade - danger. Pejorative. Negative. Placing others on the defensive.
Christ - truth.
Many of the movements, for years, have called themselves CRU. Some, don’t think the word “Crusade” is that big of a deal. I however, do not.
I dislike that word because of what it brings to mind - culturally.
Quick, what is the first thing that pops into your head when I say the word “crusade”? I dare you to not think of the Crusades.
Some will say the church was in the right and without them, Islam would have taken over. Some will say, real Christians weren’t involved. Some will say, it wasn’t church sanctioned but the government. There are other theories as well - to try to justify, pretty up, put on makeup and present the church as perfect. Personally, I don’t want to get bogged down in it.
I refuse to look a the Crusades in a positive light. At the same time, people make mistakes. I believe, our dear brothers made a huge mistake centuries ago and damaged the name of Jesus. This grieves me.
Maybe I’m a post-modernist. Maybe, just maybe, you think I’m emergent (please don’t). Maybe, you are afraid I think “Christ” is offensive too and am glad that’s removed. But trust me, when I say, over the course of my years invovled in ministry with twentysomethings and even CRU, I encountered many people - Christians and non - who were turned off to Campus Crusade for Christ, not because of Jesus, but because of “Crusade”.
Our names and our words matter. We should never shrink away from talking about Jesus or declaring the cross and what it means for the world. But, cultural things need to be taken into consideration. Paul does it. Jesus does it. The Bible speaks in cultural ways. So should we.
At my core, at my heart, I’m a missionary. Not to Africa or China - but America. I strive to look at America in the same way a missionary does when they submerge themselves into a foreign culture. I’m not here to get rid of the gospel or Jesus, but to contextualize it in ways the culture can hear and understand. Because in the end, I long for every one to know Jesus as their Savior and if something is in the way of that - other then the cross - I want it eliminated.
At the same time, I believe the Gospel and saying someone needs Jesus is a naturally offensive thing - why should I try and make it more so?
Let me ask you this…
How would you feel, if a Muslim student group, went onto a campus and called themselves “University Jihad for Allah”?
(Sorry I have left the story of God’s movement hanging for a while. It has been a really busy time - but a really amazing time. Thanks for reading - I have left details and stories out. If you have any questions, any comments, please feel free to message me them. I’d love to get your opinion, questions or just be able to flush things out for you - to give you a full picture of how amazing Jesus is.)
On July 3, 2006, I never dreamed I would be in the hospital for as long as I was - I don’t think anyone in my family or community did. Especially after I survived the first several nights - I cannot imagine my family thought God’s movment and rescue would be extended and drawn out. I was expecting a magical finger snap and to be right back on my feet at 100%.
Why? Because those are the stories of God’s movement you hear. The testimonies you hear are the drug dealer whose life instantly changed. The alcoholic who stopped drinking the moment his life encountered Jesus. The promiscuous man or woman who immediately called off their bad relationship and devoted their life to kiss dating goodbye and to do nothing but hold hands the moment their life was placed in Jesus’ hands (please, read my sarcasm into this…). Yes, our God does move in these instantaneous, snap of the finger, miraculous ways - but they are the exception.
Abraham and Sara did not just give birth to a son - it took years. The Israelite’s wandered through the wilderness for years. Nehemiah didn’t build the wall in a day. There were 400 years of silence before John the Baptist. Jesus worked a job for 30 years before his first sermon. One blind man Jesus healed had to go through several steps to be healed. Now, we live in the now and not yet where we wait for Jesus to fully heal and redeem the world when He returns.
We are left in a time where we sit in wait, in restlessness. God works miracles, but too often we wait want God to snap his cosmic fingers - heal us now; give us a job now; let us get married now; cure me now; stop looking at pornography now; get rid of my depression now. God can move instaneously - but many, many times He chooses not to.
I will never try and explain it.
God always has a purpose in why His movement is not instantaneous.
At times, as is the story in my case, a healing is about more then a healing.
A healing is about the process, the journey. A healing is about making Jesus famous. A healing is about sanctification. When Jesus heals the man who is lowered through the roof by his friends, He says "your sins are forgiven" (Mark 2:1-12).
My healing, the miracle and movement of Jesus in my life, was to make me into the man I am today.
5 years later I am deeply humbled, grateful and thankful for Jesus giving me the staph infection of the blood and, conversely, healing me.
“Strong Christian marriages will still be struck by lightning – sexual temptations, communication problems, frustrations, unrealized expectations – but if the marriages are heavily watered with and unwavering commitment to please God above everything else, the conditions won’t be ripe for a devastating fire to follow the lightning strike.”—
So the other day I was driving from Orange County to San Diego at around midnight and, like normal, I was listening to Fox Sports Radio. They were discussing the whole Ohio State Football Program/Jim Tressel cover up debacle and one of the hosts asked the question, “As Christians, should we be mad…
There are stories from this time period and ordeal that would fill academic journals (literally, I’m pretty positive I’m published in some academic journal somewhere). In the course of my 13 days in the hospital I had about 3 doctors assigned to me, many different nurses and all kinds of residents. I was a sideshow in the middle of a one ring circus. My life, my sickness, my near death experience was the stuff of legend; it was the stuff of notebooks - multiple, multiple several inch binders - around 8 or so of those binders actually.
This post, as my days in the hospital wind down, will consist of details. On July 15, 2006 - my life was out of the major danger zone. My life was saved. God moved to save my life and healed me. More was needed. I was in the hospital until my fever could reside for 48 hours (the longest 48 hours of my life, but more on that later).
About 8 days into the fight for my life, Dr. Henson discovered the threat to my life was a staph infection of the blood(for more details: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007261.htm). What you need to know is how unique I was. In order to come down with one of these, you need to have some sort of wound or cut on you. After scanning my body over and over again, I had none. They took x-rays of my teeth and head. Nothing. I did not fit the profile. But nothing else made sense. The staph infection of the blood, that I had, MRSA, was the worst type of staph infection you could get. Some people get it in body parts - the worst that may happen is losing a limb. Once it’s actively in your blood stream, things get real dangerous. This is where I was at.
As it turns out now, the lower back and left hip pain I mentioned in the last post - were actually the start of the staph infection. It creates puss pockets of the bacteria in your body. Those were mine. I had been walking around with this infection for 3.5 weeks before it hit me and knocked me down. The doctors were impressed, but freely admitted coming into the hospital with those symptoms that a staph infection would have been their last assumption.
It’s a miracle I survived.
The staph infection was in me for weeks - unknowingly.
See, I’m a medical marvel, this is why I’m sure I’m in a medical journal somewhere. I was the freak show for the residents to gaze over for their once in a lifetime experience. Dr. Henson, at one point, told us that no matter what, my case and disease was puzzling, because someone either gets one type of shock or the other - not both. I had both. Except, I did not have the full symptoms of either of the two - which was quite puzzling. As he told us at one point, the textbook did them no good on me.
He even hypothesized, I had a brand new type of shock not yet recorded. I was a very special case. I was lucky to be alive.
He couldn’t explain it.
No one in therr knew how I got it or how they figured it out.
God guided. God blessed. God led. God healed. God stalled. God moved. God loved. God gave grace.
He gave me more then I ever could have imagined. My story is not over yet. My life was saved from death. If God wanted me to be dead, I would never have made it past July 4, 2006. Every day I have had since then, is a wonderful, exciting, grace filled moment.
Not many 19 year old’s come to a place of realizing how totally, all encompassing it means to say God has their life in His hands. I do, because God saved my soul from Hades in high school and He saved my life on July 4…